Guidelines for "Intercourse"

"Sex" can be defined simply as the most intimate forms of touching and touching is a particularly important mode of communication. As such, I sometimes examine how the guidelines which apply to good conversation also apply to touching and sex. Here are some examples. Remember that though they are in terms of conversation, they apply to more than one kind of intercourse.

It's nice to have a nucleus of friends with whom I've learned to communicate well (possibly just one other), but conversation and exchange with "outsiders" brings new insights and stimulations into my group. It's good to hear from many different points of view. It keeps us from becoming a cult - a group that has separated itself and grown so far in unconventional directions that it can no longer communicate with the rest of the population. Variable numbers and personalities also keeps us from playing the same set of games over and over. My ideal group would be flexible, without definite borders. Members and configurations might change but the group would remain.

On the other hand I could avoid colds and flu by staying away from strangers and insisting that the rest of my group do the same, but to be completely safe would be most inhibiting.If contagion gets too common I could wear a medical mask. It is the responsibility of those who travel far and wide to put more effort into controlling diseases which they might otherwise spread.

There are many different ways of talking and many subjects to discuss. (Though perhaps in the sexual mode the subjects are more limited to the important ones: love, affection, trust, pleasure, the pleasure of giving pleasure, or the lack of same.)

A good talker, artist etc. may prostitute himself, selling material goods or services when he could be creating and sharing greater things. Most salespeople will imply that the customer is getting more than is really there or distract him from what it is he is really looking for. One kind of prostitute is not necessarily better or worse than another.

Conversation is best when neither person constantly either dominates or submits.

Conversations need not be limited to just two people. I need privacy for conversation, only if I expect to be embarrassed by what I say or the way I say it. Sometimes I also avoid talking in the presents of others who will be over-judgmental.

I try to be open and available for conversation with almost anyone who is lonely and desiring of conversation, and some who are only interested.

We frequently engage in small talk or verbal masturbation. This is considered an acceptable way to kill time, as long as we recognize it for what it is. Some people even talk to animals, though they don't communicate much because animals function mostly by instinct - but then so do a lot of people.

If an idea develops from one of my conversations, which is better forgotten, we can still put an end to it before it develops a significant consciousness of it's own.

Where would we be if we restricted conversation the way we presently do with sexual communication?


Send me your thoughts.
Dan Robinson, danrob@efn.org, Eugene, Oregon
My home page: http://www.efn.org/~danrob/