Welcome to the COG Home Page
(The Cult of XXXXGizzieXXXX)

Our Motto:

We are the mighty COGs, and we own exclusive bitching rights about everything under the sun. Period.


We have

a Declaration of Faith: "I believe in one Giz"
a Tenet: so what?
a Credo: Oh, Bullsh*t!
a Maxim: hunh?
a Dogma: we know stuff, we just do...
a Doctrine: my f*cking server's down, AGAIN!!
a Canon: The COG Library - we've the books and the librarians - we're set!!
a Precept: Oh Goddess of Gizatron, hear our plea (ok, so that's really a supplication, but the phrase is so good...)
a Catechism: ignorance is temporary, stupid is forever**
a Teaching: Here endeth the lesson of XXXXgizzieXXXX
a Catchism: Death before Macarena
an Orthodoxy: (@!@) Some men (naked) inspire you to love, others inspire you to laugh

We also have a FLAG now !!!


Who We Are:

A collection of women from around the US and Canada who meet on the internet to talk about life, love, kids, the X-Files, and the Great Gizzie... resident humorist to the internet newsgroup alt.tv.x-files. For more details about us as individuals and as a group take a look at our collective résumé. We also invite you to visit us in xxxxgizzielandxxxx.

In the summer of 1996, shortly after Hurricane Bertha struck Eastern North Carolina, two members of the COG met... the first ever (annual?) meeting of the COG (is that anything like the wearin' o' the green?). Peg-n-Bex immortalized the event on film. (well, ok, so Mike took the photo, but it was Bx's camera). We are in the process of creating A COG Photo Album. It's a little disorganized right now (kind of like my own photos) but you can see what some of us look like there.


At one point there were 8 COGs... and they all had their own websites. Over the years the groups have lost touch with one another, with the exception of COGs 1 and 3 which have several mutual members.

COG2, better known as the Lone Gunwomen
COG3, is also called the FBI's most unwanted.
COG4, the Women in Black or WiB
COGFIVE, The Consortium, has their page up now.
COG6, the Cerulean Sisters, aka COG6
COG7 is known as (at least our COG t-shirts say they are) NNY (No Name Yet)
And COG8 have taken on the responsibility of being Well-Manicured Women


Why Do We Worship the Great Gizzie?

Because she makes us laugh til our stomachs hurt and tears stream down our faces.
Here are some examples, chosen carefully (yeah right) from among many, of her wit and charm as it benefits the readers of alt.tv.x-files.

Someone else's post ended with:
"Somebody better keep an eye on Glass Man while he's fixing that window. I don't think he can be trusted....."

To which our Great Giz answered:

I *know* he can't be trusted...he's been busted too many times....AAAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!!M

<SOB> I'm SOOOOO bored!!!! Mommy, are we there yet???

XXXXXXXXgizzieXXXXXXXX

(I'm gonna be baaaad soon)

Or another, somewhat less dramatic response might be:

Stay with us...or come back later...but close the gate on the way out, we don't want anybody running out into cyber-traffic...
XXXXXXXXgizzieXXXXXXXX
(sometimes you HAVE to get serious...ouch, mommy, I need a hug)


In response to one of our member's call to right a sexist wrong in the world of astronomy, the Great Giz provided this substitution for the traditionally accepted mnenonic devise:

These are the letters:

O B A F G K M

The current version is "Oh, Be A Fine Girl, Kiss Me".
Kiss *this*, pigs. [a little editorializing by our resident astronomy student]

Giz's contribution, which was accepted as the new mnemonic device this particular professor will use, is:

One Bean, And Fart Gas Kills Me :->

XXXXXXXXgizzieXXXXXXXX

For more of gizzie's irrerevance take a look at more giz

OR, if you want to read some of the great giz's poetry, visit the Red Wheelbarrow Society Home page, where you will find her DD Birthday Poem as well as the Ode to the Red Speedo, among others.

THE COG MANIFESTO

(constantly being updated)

Note: fellow Giz-fictionados feel free to add to this.
-----------------

1. Followers of The Great Giz will make printouts of all Gizzie's posts, and tape them to their wall (like Mulder did in Gargoyles).

2. Followers of The Great Giz will commence hoarding lunch meat. (If vegetarian, just hoard rye bread; it's OK.)

3. Followers of The Great Giz will acquire as many dogs as we can afford to feed. We will also think up silly names for them based on pop stars.

4. Followers of The Great Giz will take very few things seriously.

5. Followers of The Great Giz will wrack our brains to come up with new and interesting emoticons 8-)^^^^^^ and dedicate them to The Great Giz.

6. Followers of The Great Giz will read the newsgroup religiously (pun intended) every day.

7. Followers of The Great Giz will not go out in "bright light, bright light!"

8. Followers of The Great Giz will acquire a spouse (or use present one, if applicable) just to name him/her "Stripe".

COG 12-STEP PROGRAM

Only YOU can decide if you are a Gizaholic. The 12-step program was set up to help Gizaholics.

1. We admit we are powerless around giz-wits - that our lives and houses have become unmanageable.

2. We believe that the Great Giz could restore us to sanity.

3. We decide to turn our lives over to the care of the Great Giz as we understand her.

4. We took a searching and fearless inventory of the changes that giz-wits made to our houses and our lives.

5. We admit to the Great Giz and ourselves the exact nature of our addiction.

6. We stand ready to have the Great Giz enlighten us about the nature of giz-wit enthrallment

7. We humbly ask the Great Giz to remove our shortcomings in totally fulfilling her desires.

8. We make a list of all of the Great Giz unfulfilled desires, and become willing to fulfill them all.

9. We make direct sacrifices to our Great Giz wherever possible.

10. We continue to take personal inventory and when we fail to respond to the Great Giz's whim, we promptly admit it.

11. We seek through reposting and adulation of every giz-wit to improve our conscious contact with the Great Giz as we understand her.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to repost this message to gizaholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Newcomers are not asked to accept or follow these Twelve Posts in their entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.

Top Ten Signs That Gizzie Is Taking Over The World

Not so respectfully submitted by Nicholas Pedicini*

And heeeeeeeeeere we go......

**Number Ten**

Tommy James and the Shondells coming out of retirement to record "Dizzy" as "Gizzie."

**Number Nine**

Favorite show to be renamed "The giZ Files"

**Number Eight**

Kraft to begin marketing "Cheese Gizz"

**Number Seven**

Chicken Gizzards to be named "national food."

**Number Six**

Face to be carved in Mt Rushmore, renamed "Mt Gizzmore"

**Number Five**

Publication of lost L Frank Baum work: The Gizzard of Oz.

**Number Four**

New restaurant: The Gizzler

**Number Three**

Everyone must add "xxxxx"'s to their names now.

**Number Two**

New Newsgroup: Alt.gizzie.gizz.gizz.gizz

**And, the number ONE sign that Gizzie is taking over the world.....**

Clinton wants to have HER baby!

*honorary member of the COG, he deserved it after coming up with this ! **contributed by honorary COG, Holgate Lost Boy. For his bio see our collective resume.


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© COG, The Cult Of Gizzie, 1996, 1997, 1998.

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Housed and maintained by Rebecca, aka bx . If you'd rather send me email than sign the guest book, please feel free and I will pass it on to the rest of the COG, and someone (probably all of us, so be prepared) will get back to you.

last updated 9 May 2003.