The Mockery of Orgasm
 
 
   In the Book of Genesis, Jehovah declares that childbirth was not painful
prior to exit from the Garden of Eden. He also says that this is directly
related to shame and fear about genitalia.
   I discovered the mechanics involved in this in my youth. At the age of
sixteen I became very sexually involved with a sixteen year old girl,
without having a context allowing me to orgasm. The result was very severe
painful cramping in the area of my prostate that required sometimes 12 hours
or more to subside. I found that if I deliberately sought a secret situation
in which to masturbate to orgasm within an hour or so of a sexual escapade,
I could prevent the cramping entirely. I determined that I could postpone
the orgasm no longer than four hours after the onset of strong sexual
arousal. I have since surmised that mentrual cramping must be the result
of the same kind of unreleased sexual tension.
   I have read on the internet several articles by midwives and women who
have given birth, describing a similar pain relieving benefit of orgasm
during a birth, particularly if the woman is entirely uninhibited about it
and highly adept at reaching orgasm. In their discussions about this, the
factor of fear, particularly the fight or flight sort of uptightness, is
the major challenge to sexual success during a birth. The cultural shaming
and prohibition on sexual interest or focus generally, and specifically at
a birth, is also a major challenge.
   Those who are successful in including sexuality into their birth event
are apparently able to birth without any tearing, cutting or use of
forceps, and some achieve the birth with little or no pain. One woman even
reported having orgasm as the baby emerged.
   The accounts describing sexual tradition in the Sumerian civilization
suggest that in the ancient past sexuality was a major educational and
athletic focus, and not a private event. The ability to get aroused and
orgasm an absurd number of times in a single event was apparently routine
then.
   This is presumably what ended with the emergence of the male geneology
religion commenced by Jehovah. The Book of Genesis presents a serious
geneology of males, which can only be accurate or even meaningful in a
society that restricts undefined pregnancies through granting much higher
social value to a woman old enough to start a household but having no sexual
training or inclination to pursue sexuality. The writer of Genesis knew that
such a woman would always have painful childbirth. Some people theorize that
the writer was a woman.
   The Book of Genesis says nothing about why the people became ashamed of
their orgasmic potential, or how that could be related to aspiration to
understanding good and evil (or grasping other sorts of wisdom), but it has
a clear relation to hereditary male domination. My presumption is that what
the people took on was the study of fear, particularly the deliberate evoking
of fear, in all of it's forms. Presumably there are circumstances wherein
evoking dread in someone is constructive and this is what is meant by
understanding good and evil.
   The fear of mockery or condemnation compelled both sexes to hide or
forsake their orgasmic potential. Someone having an orgasm is in a very
vulnerable emotional state and generally not able to control their
expressions to the degree that they could otherwise. The sexual spirit is
also quite emotionally infectious and thus a direct threat to definable
geneology. In a hereditary male social environment, any sexual focus would
have to be hidden from anyone not directly made accountable through being
involved in doing it.
   By contrast, the Sumerian or Canaanite women were quick to sexually
arouse and encouraging of undisguised sexual play, so Jehovah had to
arrange for the mass murder of their whole society, down to the last cat and
dog. Any woman who survived that had to be labeled a social outcast, to be
paid for sexual entertainment but never recognized as a citizen. This is
the origin of the stiff regulation of sexual entertaining and public sexual
play. The wish to establish male heredity has rationalized grotesque horror
and what I call sadism. Notably, those who advocated this were very
militarily adept and those who embraced sexuality had little or no passion
for violence, and were thus no match in a battle. Survival of the fittest
favored the monsters.
   Some people rationalize preventing undefined pregnancy out of concern to
prevent solitary mothers. In my view, a feminine identity that I can
recognize as noble and without sinister compromise has to be in an intimate
context of at least three women, and presence of men is important only for
their direct empathy with other men. Fewer than three women forces a 
character identified person to use artificial familiars instead of 
accountable associates for their dramatic expression. The result of this is 
very emotionally confusing for outsiders, and thus a social poison. 
   The Trobriand Island civilization manages to keep fatherhood traced
through deliberate marriage, without having the spouses live together, or
even be in the same tribe. Thus all their mothers are without their husband
and without financial support from their husband, but living with their
mother, their aunts and uncles and a bunch of their nieces and nephews.
They also encourage sexuality between teenagers without any reported
pregnancies, though I guess it might not matter.
   Many women writing on the internet about birth express distaste for the
idea of sexual focus during childbirth, and many people of both sexes
express abject horror of pressing teenage girls to study their sexual
function and practice having orgasm. Some have even suggested that my
stating this opens me to criminal prosecution for inappropriate relating to
children, and possible prohibition on being around any children. It has
genuinely become a social sin to trifle with controlled male heredity
through a sane relation to sexual development. People may even fear
genocidal extermination if they become associated with sexually sane
people.
   I also think that the problems of violent rape and of emotionally
immature people pressing children to be sexual with them are also a product
of this suppression of the study of orgasm by children (who then grow up
emotionally stunted). My own study of orgasm as a child was secret and
condemned by adult society, and I deeply feared being mocked about it by
other children. Even today I fear my associates' mockery, or condemnation
of sexual expression on my part, even with my lover. The development of my
emotional maturity is quite hamstrung by this.
   I think this is madness, stupid perverted madness.
   And I recognize the dominance of those who support the madness, recognize
their willingness to kill or wreck the lives of any who even verbally
oppose their dominance. I recognize and accept their desperation. I write
this for my own sanity. I need to call the scene in a logical manner, even
if there is no hope of relating sanely. I also need to prepare emotionally
for any sort of attack that I think likely.
   Both a birth and a rape event are quite common to occur at least once in
the whole lifetime of a woman. The two have in common that a condition of
intense sexual arousal can make the event far less painful or even
pleasant, but must be achieved in the face of serious reason for dread and
terror.
   If I take as a premise that everyone of both sexes has a periodic need
to orgasm and often no straightforward opportunity for that, the motive to
do a violent rape may be assumed to be an unavoidable component of some
peoples' personality. Since a man or boy cannot be forced to have normal
intercourse when not sexually aroused, the forms of sexual rape that males
endure are not as overtly sexual as what happens to women. But being a man,
I give it equal importance. Everyone faces the very real possibility of
being forced by others into a masochistic role that will be very painful and
potentially injurious if they resist participating in the feelings and
convulsive release of those attacking them.
   The Patty Hearst example is the best one for this, since it represents
the essential elements in a way that can happen equally to both sexes. She
avoided injury and pain by embracing the political orientation and feelings
of the group that kidnaped her, to the point of participating in an armed
robbery. This is very common for teenage boys in Guatemala and the Congo.
The more formalized equivalent of the military draft used to be universal in
the civilized world. What happens with teenage girls drafted into child
care can often get similarly grim and inspiring of sadistic behavior.
   Some form of extreme hazing is included in nearly every man's life, so
men who are casual about choreographing hazing are not uncommon. Their
victims are usually male unless heterosexuality is part of the motive.
Being a victim encourages a person to plan for the next attack through
fantasy about it, wherein they relax into the unavoidable situation and
make the best of it. Doing this kind of planning a lot seems to result in
eventual moral acceptance of the hazing, and perhaps even makes the attack
more likely.
   Fantasy engagement with trauma became a big part of my life as a
teenager and continues to be. While actual traumatic events have been quite
rare for me, those few have gone quite easy for me with a minimum of stress
and damage, primarily due to my deliberate easing of stress for my
attacker. Having known little interpersonal trauma, I have not wrestled
with a tendency to initiate sadistic behavior.
   I have never fantasized being the victim of a forced sexual encounter,
but if I were a woman I certainly would have. Likewise for a fantasy of
giving a difficult birth. Birth videos are becoming quite common and many
women use them to get a picture of what they are going to encounter, but
none of those I've seen show an obvious sexual focus on the part of the
woman; though one did show a woman who is clearly in no pain and not in a
hospital setting.
   Women in my world are not apparently coached in their youth to prepare
for a forced need for sexual arousal any more than I was. I've met many
women who appear to never focus sexually at all, in spite of devastating
menstrual cramps, an imminent birth, or a sexually predatory relative.
Discussion about these concerns among the women I've known always focused on
anesthetizing drugs and verbal therapy, even with the matter being a current
issue. Sexual arousal and orgasm as a good thing, and potentially vital, has
never come up; let alone use of sexual focus to cope with those challenges;
even among women who loudly despise patriarchical religion.
   I've known two men who have campaigned loudly (and with terrifying
seriousness) about the need to prohibit any newly pubescent woman from
having sexual or orgasmic experience, with or without risk of pregnancy.
Even friendship with a seriously committed kind man, and living in a
context that could easily support a new child, makes no difference.
Everyone speaks derisively of the next door neighbor who had her first at 16
with somebody nameless and whose children are doing likewise without
apparent childraising stress, but not saying they needed some overt
coaching, only that they should have been celebate.
   One teenage girl asked me about what intercourse is like, but I was too
terrified of her casual political bigotry and her Pentecostal mother to do
anything but dodge the matter. I bring this up in conversation with friends
occasionally but it's always a disaster; people get so angry at me.
   Animal husbandry takes a curiously opposite approach to sexual energy
control. Cow, goat, horse, chicken, cat and dog keepers all routinely
control their creatures emotionally partially through castrating or killing
all the males. Many women speak about men as being similarly out of place
in a domesticated environment of any kind, unless their sexuality can be
somehow destroyed psychologically. Heterosexual men likewise speak about
intimacy with another man in similar terms; that as with the deer, only one
male in a household will be permitted any sexual focus; and that individual
will establish their position through heartless humiliation or injury of
all the other males.
   This kind of policy has always appalled me, but most of my life I
completely ignored it, and so failed to grasp the significance of it in
human relations. The idea of domestication of humans or animals I have
likewise abhorred, though I've always lived in very domesticated
communities.
   Apparently, a significant percentage of males of any species will be
inspired, by their internal hormones and their genetically determined
emotions, to engage in warlike activity for it's own sake, generally with
other similar males, and often with sexual dominance being symbolically
critical to any achievement of social peace or domesticated relating.
   The Trobriand Island civilization has a tradition of violent intertribal
sports competition that is a moderate compromise of the older tradition of
men engaging in overt senseless murder of men from other tribes. This kind
of tradition is very common worldwide, with Somalia and similar lower
budget places having it take a form of direct machine gun clan warfare,
wherein a man without a gun cannot establish any sort of social respect, or
maybe even inclusion.
   Somalia is one of the places where the brutal mutilation of women's
sexual parts is normal tradition. I surmise that the suppression of orgasmic
interest has a direct relation to a social evolution of coping with
senseless continuous violence. By becoming asexual, women could encourage
men to see less purpose in horribly mutilating them. Replacement of small 
scale clan warfare with equally heartless formal court systems, formal large 
scale sports competitions, formal large scale military pagentry, and a formal
large scale trade economy has made possible the development of completely
passivist men like me who avoid all of it.
   My community has been so tame, I was not even aware of what an anomoly I
am that way. The senseless violence in the talk of some of the men in my
neighborhood, one of whom got shot and killed for it, has struck me as a
new social development rather than as re-emergence of an underlying regular
tendency. The boys play-acting murder, theft, terrorism and random
destruction of property is so common, I see almost no other focus on their
part, even among boys who are clearly too young to be affected by puberty.
Trying to talk the boys out of the interest has gone nowhere.
   I have also noted and struggled with a parallel psychological brutality
among the girls, that I likewise cannot talk them out of, and mostly cannot
be around. The other men avoid the women's psychological skirmishes also,
talking to me about it as a senseless tendency of women generally. My
household has evolved to being mostly men only, as a result of my coping
with this in household management. Women are just too heedlessly
destructive of household peace and emotional trust, either through being
randomly secretive about their focus and feelings or through overt
senseless entitlement campaigning. The other fellows I live with have all
arranged to have girlfriends live somewhere else, and I'm growing inclined
to go back to that due to political tragedy with my girlfriend.
   George Gurjeiff described a duel he was inspired to arrange with another
man over a sexual competition about an emotionally baffling woman. The
result was a deep emotional bond and compassion between the two men, and an
abject horror of the woman on the part of both fellows. My life has shown
similar interpersonal insanity enough that I attribute all violence to
emotional confusion.
   My period of being feminine also showed a parallel effect among women,
of being confusingly secretive, or verbally destructive, when faced with
random terrorism; inadvertently making the situation worse, and leading to
a deep intimacy between women who mutually escape the terrorist influence
(and lift the secrecy between them). The women I dealt with then were not
committed to bias against men. By copying their behavior exactly I was taken
into their confidence as one of them, as long as I kept my written
observational notes secret.
   Thus I attribute the deranged behavior of both sexes to lack of
experience with the form of identity common to the opposite sex. I think
that castration is a way to artificially force this kind of study on the
part of male animals, with the resulting gentleness presumed to be entirely
a physical effect. But I am not castrated nor asexual, and I have no
tendency to be a terrorist, propose competition, be randomly secretive or
make entitlement demands. I see an even greater imperative than ever for
every adult to try out both sexual identities, for their own sanity as well
as to render them harmless to everyone else.
   It is clear to me that shutting out those with the opposite identity
focus only appears to cope with the trouble. The men in my household have a
gross lack of sacredness and elegance in their lives that drives them to
keep invading and antagonizing the emotionally confusing world of women. I
often am faced with similarly ambitious women who fear me but pretend not
to out of a critical need to include the novelty and athletic potential
that I clearly have easy access to.
   It may be that what many people identify as the current improving
evolution of consciousness is describable as being a greater proportion of
people having this kind of experience of both sex identities and thus a
tendency to be a peacemaking influence on everyone else. Publically visible
orgasm may still be a long way off though.
   
   
   
   
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